“I promise to love you, even when I hate you”

Hi,

So, I know you are thinking… “Hey... How is there a new blog already?? She only posted, like once a month or something.” But like I said in my previous blog, I am going to change that! My blogs might be a bit shorter, but they will be more and who knows, maybe your lazy bones might actually read through the whole thing.

In the middle of February all you see is red and pink, hearts and sweet words and rhymes. So whether you have already found your love or are still searching, life is too short to waste it on people that are not worth your time, or on food that doesn’t taste good! Keep the fire inside ignited and follow your dreams.

I have been married for over 2 years now, but we are celebrating 10 years together this year. I am not an expert on the “Love” subject at all but I have a bit of experience. So with that said I thought I might write something for Valentine’s Day. Cheesy I know, I know, but I am a hopeless romantic. So today’s blog is about:

How to love your significant other, even if you don’t like them…….. at that particular moment.

1. Don’t understand, just love.

Before we got married my mom gave my husband a bit of advice; “Don’t try and understand her, just love her” I think my mom might not have realised that the advice was applicable to me as well.

You cannot always understand why the other person does the things they do, but it is not always your place to know. Every now and then you need to close your eyes and just trust!

2. Remember why you love him/her so dearly even when you do fight.

One day I asked my students: “Give me an example of the best words that someone has ever said to you”. One guy replied and said; “Ma'am, the best words is when your High School crush says; “Hi”. That struck a chord with me. It is the best feeling, to be in love and trusting that person with your whole heart. That is what happens when you first fall in love. You allow yourself to be vulnerable and you allow that person to sweep you off your feet. Remember that amazing feeling and what it means to truly be in love.

3. Take a “time out” from fighting.

This is not easy and I am still learning and practicing this today, and will probably in future. Take a pause, breathe and stop the fight before it gets too heavy! When things aren’t going the way they were supposed to, you might say something you are going to regret later. Taking “a pause” gives both parties the chance to cool off and regain perspective.

4. Be spontaneous.

This is hard when you have been together for a really long time. The only reason the passion runs dry is because we don’t put the same effort and attention into our relationships that we did in the first few months. We get lazy and think, “Well he knows I love him”, until he doesn’t.

So my advice, even if you are going to be home and have nothing planned, spend time together. Do a dinner for two on the carpet in your living room. Watch a movie together and buy his favourite chocolate, or write a note “I promise to love you, even when I hate you”

Ps. Never go to sleep angry. Say you are sorry, ESPECIALLY THE LADIES. And always give a kiss good night!

Love,

10 Easy tips (you can do TODAY) that could change someone’s world

Hi all,

WARNING! 

Getting all deep and full of feelings and stuff, SO brace yourself! 

Still not listening, fine, but I warned you. 

Maybe it is the holidays that's approaching. But with 2016 only 24 days away, you start to rethink 2015.  Have you done the things you really loved this year? Do the people around you know you love them? What are the things that really matter? What are the most important things the people around you can do? It doesn’t matter how big or small; how significant to you or insignificant to others.

(With all these questions this blog can actually be a 5 part squeal.) 

I made cookies, as guest favours, for my Aunt’s surprise birthday party the previous weekend. This led me to think about all the things we do for other people. The effort and time we put in, whether it is a gift or a party.

One of my colleagues asked me the other day; “Do you ever wonder if other people will do the same for you? The effort and time that we put in to make things special, when it is time to return the favour, do you think they will do the same for us?”

Chances are that they won’t and you would end up hurt, angry and even frustrated with the people around you as they would not always do the same for you as you do for them. You start to plot some form of revenge as you are disappointed in their efforts and the time they invested.

Now, the life lesson I have learnt; “Do to others what you would like them to do to you.”(Without expecting them to live by the same rules) If you follow the above quote and you really take it to heart, then whether or not the favour is returned, is irrelevant.

It means that you are doing it with the right mind-set, not for what you can get out, but what you put in, and what it would mean to them. Do we have any other choice? My Mamma, Julie (a very wise woman, you will get to know her as my posts increase), use to spot the situation where I was mad or frustrated, and she would say in a very irritated tone “there are more than enough mean people in the world, you do not need to be one of them, do the things that make you feel good, and not because you wish to get something back”. (This is not easy, and I still remind myself of this when I am in a similar situation) 

Sometimes you need to be the bigger person as you never know what battle the person next to is fighting. (Another Julie quote) Something small or insignificant to you could mean the world to someone else.

10 Easy tips (you can do TODAY) that could change someone’s world

• If you see someones mood is down, tell them a joke, if they don’t laugh, walk away and tell them that you will come back with a new and improved version. Make sure to check up on them later, even if it is just a text.
• Thank people who serve you—waiter, receptionist, cleaner, security guard
• Pay for someone’s groceries in your cue, if you don’t have a lot of money, stand in the short cue in the front of the shop (e.g. Max 5 items row), or pick someone that you can see struggles by counting all their coins.
• Call and invite an old friend to get drinks, take a small gift with, even if it’s only a Christmas chocolate.

• Stop by the hospital to visit a friend, if you can’t stop by, make an effort to stop at their home afterwards with something, or at the very least send a message a few days later finding out how they are doing.
• Plan a meeting, surprising everyone with a tea party (remember the cake)
• Pay the toll for the person behind you.
• Call a friend going through a difficult period to show your support, maybe arrange a “single at last” party, or buy a “happy divorce" cake, with proper chick flicks. (only if it is that kind of “difficult situation”, otherwise it might just be awkward)
• Next time you are at the shops, buy something (no matter how small) for the special person in your life, or write a letter or note to them. 
• Invite a friend for dinner, try to make their favourite food. Remember to talk less and listen more. 

BONUS: If you receive good service from someone, make sure to go to their manager and pass on the compliment. People are easy to complain but very slow to compliment.

Make time for the small things in life, and make sure to think about the people around you and what they might me going through. Do something for your sweetheart or stranger, maybe they pass it on to the next stranger.

That’s it for another blog post., hope you are making the most of what is left of 2015.

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Love,