Hi, so I have spent the last 2 months looking for a new job
as we recently moved to Dubai. I went for a few interviews during this time. Of
these, there is one that will stay with me for some years to come.
So this particular company found my details on LinkedIn, I
applied for the position and they phoned me almost immediately. I for the first
interview and it all seemed good but nothing major. Within a few hours they
phoned to say that I have a second interview.
After my second interview, I walked out of their offices and
I couldn’t stop smiling. My husband was waiting outside and as I approached him
he could see something was going on.
So the first words out of my mouth was “That was the best
interview of my life!!!” It was not 30 minutes later and the company phoned me
to tell me I have the job and I need to come back the following day. I was
beyond myself. I remember it felt surreal walking out of the building and being
on top of the world.
I spent the whole evening recapping the interview. I met
with the CEO and I can remember he kept saying how perfect I was for the
position, and they interviewed so many people and they couldn’t find the right
fit, but he can now stop looking. He kept saying that there is something about me and he knows his search is over and that I am the person he is looking for.
He called in one of his partners, and together they made
this position sound like I would be working for the next Sir Richard Branson
himself. (No, sorry that is not right, he made a comment about the legend
himself being a has-been, clue number 1)
He was so eager to have me on his team that he “created a
position just for me” (clue number 2) and wanted to know there and then if I
will be accepting the job. With hesitance, I said: “Yes”.
As the evening went by I tried to think what the following
day would hold. I mean could this be the start of a whole new career for me?
I phoned my mom that evening and as I told her everything
about the interview I could hear myself saying everything out loud. Suddenly
doubt started to sink in. Is this all sounding too good to be true? (Clue
number 3)
I went in to the offices the next day to find out that it
was a negotiation. They asked me what my salary expectation was. I did my
research about the position so I was ready with the answers, but I was not
expecting them to low-ball me quite as much as they did. So they came in at a
very low offer and extensive hours. After about 15min we came to an agreement.
I agreed that they send me the offer and I will be available to start in 2
days’ time after I have received and reviewed the offer.
Now for the best part…. I never heard from them again. Yes,
I know!!! After telling me I am exactly what they were looking for; Bla bla bla
bla!
I spent the next 3 days looking at my phone anxiously. Every
time it rang, every time I got an email, every time I received a message. My
heart was constantly beating in my throat. By the 5th day I realised
all that was wrong with the firm. All the red lights that had me worried but were
concealed by all the wonderful words from the CEO and his partner. My favorite
aunt always says: “If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…. It probably
is a duck”. And this guy was trying to conceal his duck walk with a swan swim,
and it was too good to be true.
About a week after the interview, I had an ah-ha moment, a
light bulb going off on top of my head like in the movies. Right then and there
I realised what I want to do with my life. I had a brilliant idea for a new
business venture.
I finally realised that I needed that interview to show me
what actually gets me excited. I finally saw myself 10 years down the line in a
new career path that I loved. I realised what I wanted to do, what I feel like
I was meant to do with my life.
I realised that once you find what you love, give it your100%. I know that I am in the very fortunate position that I have a clean
slate. I have a lot of time on my hands and a loving husband that works really hard
and really long hours to pay all the bills by himself. But whether you start
that new business venture on the side, and work on it every free minute that
you have, don’t stop dreaming, don’t stop working and if you want it bad
enough, you will make a success of it, because once you put your mind to it, no
one will be able to stop you.
So, I know I have been very quiet the last few weeks, and I
apologise. I was on holiday for 3 weeks and had a bit of writers block with
that. To my defence I started to write an article I wanted to post but I have
been struggling with it for the past 5 weeks.
Yesterday, it was my 3rd day back in the gym,
don’t know if you know already, but I am a bit of a fitness freak/fanatic. It
makes me a happier person and I can promise you that if I skipped a few days
the people around me would drag me back to the gym by my hands and feet, as I
am generally a more pleasant person to be around if I have an outlet for my
normal day to day frustrations. It’s my therapy (A lot cheaper than lying on
someone’s couch talking about my feelings, I can promise you that).
So, where was I? Vacation? Never mind the vacation, keep
that for a next entry. I was in the gym yesterday, contemplating my blog and how to finish the story I was busy
with, not really finding a solution. As I have told you before my brain is way
too busy with a million things at once. Go read my first article about why it is important to know your personality type. So as per normal when I couldn’t find a
solution for my blog problem (sounds like an addiction or something my “Blog
problem”), I realised that that is one of the things I do, one of my not so
favourite character traits.
I hesitate and prolong the situation if I don’t know the
answer, or I don’t want to make a
choice. I drag things out; sometimes end up in tears, frustrated with myself
for not making a decision, for not being able to know what I want to do. I concluded
that writing my blog is more of a reflection on my life than I initially realised.
Sometimes you need to stop, scrap the piece of paper you are
writing on, throw it in the bin and start over. You need to wipe the slate
clean in order to make sense of the chaos in front of you.
Obviously being a “new year, new you” everyone is talking
about New Year’s resolutions, what are you going to do differently, and what
are you going to start or what are you going to finish?
Well, I am a fan of New Year’s resolutions, and at the age
of 25 and a half, I realised why.
I procrastinate. That is who I am, a procrastinator, and
that is OK, It is not great but it is OK. Now I know what to fix. I need to scrap the paper, start over, and hopefully
the words will flow without hesitation. Well what do you know, it seems to be
working. You will know what is the right
thing to do. Don’t force the things that don’t come naturally to you. I don’t
mean “don’t do anything about it”, I mean if you are hesitating to do it, maybe
there is a reason.
Although I am not going to try and change myself, I am going
to try and speed up the process, not only for me but also the people around me
(and deciding what to eat at a restaurant is small fries in comparison to what
I am talking about, although that all seems to be a problem for me as well). The things I do today could change someone's life. The
decisions that I have to make have an influence on the people around me as well
and I know it can be frustrating for me so how much more for the people around
me, especially big life decisions.
In the same way I am
not a professional but I seeked help with regards to my problem around
procrastinating EVERYTING! Cestine Chua
wrote an article in this regard on Lifehacks.org. So I am going to follow
these 11 practical tips to overcome my problem with procrastination. I will
keep a diary, and let you know if it works for me in 2016.
11 Powerful tips to
help stop procrastination (Oh golly, here
we go. Do I have to start today, why not Monday?)
Break
your work into little steps. Part of the reason why we procrastinate is
because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down
into little parts, and then focus on one part at the time. (Grab a pen and paper) If
you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down
even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee,
this is so simple that I might as well just do it now
Change
your environment. Different environments have different impact on our
productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to
work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you
should look into changing your work space. One thing to note is that an
environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a
period of time. (I don’t want to work when I get to bed…)
Create a
detailed timeline with specific deadlines. Having just 1 deadline for your
work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the
impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too
late. (Jup that’s me!) Break down your project (see tip #1), then
create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This
way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines
must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to
jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the
urgency to act. My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to
the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish
this by the specified date; else my goals will be put off. (I will need to try and
implement this, anyone knows of a good diary to buy?)
Eliminate
your procrastination pit-stops.(But it is so easy, and more fun!) If
you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it
easy to procrastinate. Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of
your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible.
Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the
distractions around you. I know some people will out of the way and
delete/deactivate their Facebook accounts. I think it’s a little
drastic/extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of
our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s
what’s needed, go for it.
Hang out
with people who inspire you to take action.I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or
Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes
doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviours. (I
need more of them) Of course spending time with Steve Jobs/Bill Gates
every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies.
Identify the people/friends/colleagues who trigger you – most likely the
go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will
inculcate their drive and spirit too.
Get a
buddy.(this work really well for exercising, get a gym buddy) Having
a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should
be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other
accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you
to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can
learn from each other. I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we
always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals.
Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.
Tell
others about your goals. This serves the same function as #6, on a larger
scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your
projects. (This is scary, what if you fail, then everyone will know? Maybe start
with one or two people? Your spouse?) Now whenever you see them, they
are bound to ask you about your status on those projects. (That’s what I am scared of) (Read why the friends you keep are responsible for your success)
Seek out
someone who has already achieved the outcome. What is it you want to
accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go
seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are
very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.(takes
a bit of research, maybe telling the people around you about your goal will
help as they maybe know someone in the field)
Re-clarify
your goals. If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of
time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are
currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about
ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that. Get away from your
work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break will do too) (Done
that) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want
to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does
your current work align with that? If not,what can you do about it? (So
many questions, it is answering them that is the problem!)
Stop
over-complicating things. Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? (Yes)
That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? (YESSS)
Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep
waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything. Perfectionism is
one of the biggest reasons for procrastination.
Get a
grip and just do it. At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do
all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action,
nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep
complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the
end of the day. Reality check: I have never heard anyone procrastinate their
way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if
you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it. (Well
I am game to try it! Let’s go 2016)
This sounds simple enough right?? I am excited to start
ordering in a restaurant, I am sure it will easily save 30 minutes! Let me know
in the comments below if you are going to try it and if it works for you!
So I did my first blog entry this week, quite nerve wreaking
when you think you write something, and putting it out there for the whole
world to see.
For those of you who have read it, thanks, and thanks for bearing
with the mistakes. I saw a few of them this morning, which I fixed. It is a
learning curve for me, but truly exciting. I think I might be addicted!
Well, at least it is a good kind of addiction. But you
become addicted to the things that make you feel good. I have come to believe
that that is the key of life. Surround yourself with things that make you feel
good, things that make you happy, things that inspire you.
Well my positive addiction, (besides debating and playing devil’s
advocate, which may not always be positive I might add) is surrounding myself
with positive people. I have the best, ‘full of life’ friends, people that understand
my argumentative personality. My best friend that turned into my husband, I have colleagues that have turned in to friends,
but most important, I only have a hand full of good friends. I have realised early in
life that it is about the quality of the people that surround you, not the
quantity.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most
time with.” Is a quote by Jim Rohn, and words that I have seen come to life as
life throws his curve balls and categorise your friends into the ones you need
to keep and the ones you need to let go. Your friends influence your life immensely,
whether it is your life spiritually, financially or physically. Now this brings me to, how these people influence your life.
5 Reasons why the
friends you keep are responsible for your success:
1. They are the driving force behind your motivation.
Whether it is intentional or not,
people look at their friends and feel envious of what they have or where they
have been or what they do. Whether they motivate you by creating a; “I wish I
could also earn that salary” statement or whether it is “I never want to have
that worries” statement, they plant the seed that make you want put the effort
in to the daily things you do.
2. Good friend will keep you positive
When you are in a bad mood, or had a bad day, they will be the ones trying to lift your spirits. Making funny jokes, helping you find a solution or just keeping you company when you are stuck in a rut.
3. Friends create a sense of belonging
You feel at home when you are with them. You are comfortable in your own skin around them and that creates increased self-worth. Psychological Bulletin found that positivity is linked to positive perception of yourself and others. It increases performance, your creativity and problem solving and overall success.
4. People skills
People teach you about people. As in my previous entry, 10 Reasons why you must test your personality, I wrote about the importance of knowing yourself but also others. The personality test is the theory, the friends you make and the friends you keep around is a daily practice of those skills. You learn how to react to situations and to the different people in their very different environments. This creates success as people don’t manage a business, they manage people.
5. They keep you sane.
They might sometimes drive you insane, but a shoulder to cry on or a gym buddy to vent to, or even a cocktail buddy to help you drown your sorrows will help you face another day.
Surround yourself with people that make you want to better yourself (they have to be people you like, don’t waste time on people that don’t share your groove)
Thank the good friends around you for the positive influence
they have on your life. The bad friends you ask? Thank them to, as they have
also created who you are. If you are not happy with whom you have become,
change to the authentic you. Then surround yourself with friends that keep you positive.
Friends that are such a good influence on your life, that you become addicted
to their presence.
“Associate only with positive, focused people who you can
learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring
attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement
and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of
company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.” – Robin
Sharma
Ps. I have new exciting ventures and blog posts coming soon, so
please subscribe to my blog below. It’s free.
Thanks for taking the time to read my first blog
entry.
Now let me start by giving you background on myself and how I came to writing this entry.
I am a lecturer in Event management. I studied communication
studies (which I loved), started working in events after Varsity and decided to
combine both when I got a job as a lecturer.
I have contemplated for several months on what I can do to
keep my inner self satisfied. And yet another day at the office, trying to do
100 things at the same time, I thought to myself, “Myself, what can you do to
better yourself? What would best suite your personality? What type of
personality is that that you have?”
So, did a quick Google search, did a random personality test
on www.16personalities.com and
BAMMM. I found out that my personality type is ENTP, now for you that don’t
know what it means; it stands for, Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving (ENTP).
I know that’s a mouth full. I had to Google it myself.
Now being an ENTP personality type that basically means I am
analytical person. I love talking,
debating, and playing devil’s advocate, and to argue just for the sake of it. I
am so busy analysing information, and juggling ideas and I sometimes lose the plot
and leave it all together. Best way to talk to an ENTP is to be straightforward
and don’t cut corners. www.humanmetrics.com/personality/entp.
They were spot on. Suddenly I was at 250 words in at 3.36 minutes,
writing a blog that I struggled to get going for nearly 3 months. I never knew
what writers block was, then again, I never saw myself as a writer. Shows you
what a little inspiration can do.
As you read on you will realise that I have so much crap
going on in my head that it is hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. And
with that I don’t mean I multi task, because I forget whatever I was busy
doing, starting to contemplate on the next worldly problem, I know that
contemplating what I am going to eat for dinner doesn’t count as a ‘worldly
problem’, but I do feel like a contender on MasterChef, when I have 1 hour to
cook dinner with limited resources and 3 judges who will be waiting for their
plates by 19:00 sharply. My plates never quite look (or tastes) like theirs
though. I do think it would be interesting to participate in something like
that, (but that is for another entry)
So now that I have introduced myself, and my fellow ENTP
personalities will relate when I say it, I have struggled, had to show serious self-restraint
to try and keep myself on track as my mind have wondered at least 10 + times
with additional information. I am actually sitting with a piece of paper next
to me, writing all the ideas down so that I don’t forget them while thinking of
the next idea.
That aside, finding out what personality type I am, made me
think, if I struggle to understand myself (and I have been living with me for
25 years), how important is it for you to try and understand other people? It is
important to try and listen more and talk less, listen with the sole purpose of
understanding, not replying.
Here are 10 advantages of knowing your personality type and that
of the people around you:
You learn about yourself, and why you react the way
you do.
You learn about the people around you and how they
will react and how you will react towards them
You learn how to communicate with fellow
colleagues, friends, family and even strangers
You can identify where your comfort zone is and
what you need to do to challenge yourself to get out for your comfort zone.
You learn what career paths would best suite
your personality and why.
You improve on your problem-solving ability as
you have more information about yourself and the people around you and how
everyone will react and review the situation.
It helps you identify your strengths.
It showcases your weaknesses and where you need
to improve.
Makes you a better leader or team player, as you
can identify others strengths and weaknesses.
You learn
how to be content with yourself and your personality
So go check out your personality, let me know what
interesting things you’ve learnt about yourself or others, and make a true
effort to try and understand other people, and why they do the things they do. www.16personalities.com/
Welcome to my journey to understanding myself, hope you find your reason to sparkle.
